


Worthless

by talon6142



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hero is sad, Pain, Spoilers, things get better at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29726904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talon6142/pseuds/talon6142
Summary: 1 year after Sunny left Faraway, and Hero is obsessed over the piano his sister played.
Relationships: Aubrey & Basil & Hero & Kel & Sunny (OMORI), Basil & Hero (OMORI), Hero/Sunny (OMORI)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 63





	Worthless

**Author's Note:**

> Kept you waiting, huh?  
> sorry this took a while was in a slump and didn't get a whole lot done over the course of 2 or so weeks  
> this is a hero focused post good end fic so spoilers

Hero didn't know why he did it.

Well, he knew _why_ he did it. He wanted to honor Mari's memory, in the only way he could think of. With Sunny leaving so soon, he had no choice but to ask immediately.

"Can I have Mari's piano?"

He wasn't very good with it, not as good as Mari, anyway. Was it selfish of him to ask for such a valued keepsake? Then again, they were just going to sell it… Hero took somewhat of an offense to that. How the hell could they sell it, after everything it went through? After everything Mari did? Now the deed had been done, the piano was here, with someone who knows the truth of what happened to its previous owner. The terrible, painful...

The relieving truth. It was relieving to know that Mari didn't kill herself... That was the only emotion he tried to focus on as he waved Sunny goodbye 1 year ago. He was so glad that Mari didn't kill herself.

"So glad... tch." He whispered to himself, delicately sweeping his fingers over the keys, pressing them at random, their sound reverberating throughout the dark and empty halls of the house. He placed the sheet music on its stand. Just following Mari’s example, like he had his entire life.

It didn't matter how he felt, really. It hadn't mattered for a long time. He was Hero, and he would have to be whoever it is his friends and family want him to be. At least it was easy. It was much easier to just let how other people feel decide his fate. He would go to college because his parents wanted him to. He would get whatever degree they thought was best. He would come back home whenever they wanted to see him.

He would pretend to forgive Sunny and Basil because his friends did. They want him to.

His parents didn't want the piano, though. That was Hero's decision, and Hero's decision alone. He was choosing this for himself, for the first time in years.

It terrified him.

* * *

He tried as hard as he could to play the notes as the sheet music depicted them. No words were flowing throughout the usually busy house Hero shared with his family. Quiet moments like this were the only times he allowed himself to practice, not willing to bother anyone. Him playing was just a bother. Hero’s existence was just a bother. That’s how he felt, anyway. Unlike the piano room at Sunny's old house, there was no specific room he could store it in. It just sat in the living room.

The first few notes he could do with his eyes closed, perfectly. He had heard the song from Mari and Sunny's practices enough times for it to be ingrained in his memory, for better or for worse. After a while, though, it gets blurry. An E becomes an A, and the entire song is ruined. Tainted. Worthless.

So Hero starts over. He begins with his perfect memory. It wasn’t perfect because Hero was perfect, it was perfect because Mari was perfect, his memory of her the only perfect thing left in his life. Mari is gone now, and her perfection left after too long, following suit. After that... It's only Hero. Imperfect. Tainted. Worthless.

If it isn't him stupidly messing up a note, it was a rush or a drag. He'd play a note too early, and he'd feel Mari's glare from somewhere behind him as his fingers paused. Start over. He'd play a note too late, and Sunny would scoff at him from wherever he was. Start over. It became agonizing to walk his fingers through the first few strokes. Every damn time, a few boring seconds of boring play. He had to do it, though. Anything less is simply failure.

Hero's ears perked up as he heard a car begin to halt directly in front of the house. "One more time." He whispered to himself.

His perfect little part played itself, and then he took control as a car door slammed shut.

He made it to the part where Sunny came in. Didn't normally last this long, and even if he did make it this far he'd get distracted by thoughts of the boy who... Messed up. This time he was thinking of one thing. Mari. Footsteps made their way to the door, but began to slow down until they made a stop. Hero kept going, mind wandering to the times he heard her play this song. It was so beautiful, but it was even better when it was backing up Sunny's vio- _DING_

The last, wrong note echoed throughout the empty home and made its way into Hero's skull, bouncing around inside of his head for what felt like forever.

A flash of anger. At himself. At Sunny. At the whole damn world for screwing him over the way it did... And then it was gone, leaving him in a single, shuddering breath.

Then Kel walked in.

* * *

"Hey Hero." Hero waited a moment before responding in a weak, desperate voice. "He-" He quickly cleared his throat. "Hey Kel."

Silence.

"I heard you playi-" Kel was interrupted by Hero with a yell. "DON'T... Don't talk to me about the piano..." The same old answer he always gave, the same old knee jerk reaction before quickly realigning himself.

Every time Kel thinks he's ready to talk. Every time, Kel is wrong. Hero tried to mend that wound with small talk. "So, what were you up to?"

"Same old, same old. Hung out with Aubrey and the gang, played some b-ball, ate, and came back- Where's everyone else?"

Hero took some time remembering why they had gone. "Grocery store." He mumbled. Kel looked down as he considered his options.

"We saw… We saw Basil while we were out." He stuttered. Hero tried his absolute best to look happy that he hadn't fallen off a cliff yet. "Nice. How's he doing?"

Kel, done with small talk, didn't give the question time to breathe, following up with his point. "He's worried about you."

Basil was worried about him. To himself, Hero thought, _That little shit should be worrying about himself if I EVER…_ He took a deep breath. He couldn't let the mask slip again.  
"Well, that's very nice of him. You can tell him I'm fine, thank you." A good response, but an awful lie.

"You can tell him that yourself." Kel replied, voice beginning to shake. "He's gonna be... here... for dinner."

Hero's heart skipped a beat for all the wrong reasons. He would be **here**. In **his** house. Sunny took Mari from him, but Basil saw to it that his life was ruined for a year, and wracked with guilt for the next 3.

He couldn't just say no. He wasn't allowed to say no. Judging by Kel's tone, the plan had been made. He was coming over, and there was nothing Hero could do.

Nothing he could do.

Business as usual.

"That's great...! Great..." Hero repeated, nodding, as he stumbled out of the piano's chair and started walking into the hallway, making his way up the stairs. Kel just stood there. Hero swung open the door to his shared room and body slammed his mattress face first, burying his face in his pillow as he let out a scream.

* * *

Hours ticked by as Hero lived his life on autopilot, helping whenever he was needed. He put the groceries away, took out the trash, and only considered offering to help cook dinner in an attempt to poison whatever it is Basil would eat. Just a thought.

As much as he hated this segment of his day, Hero would gladly let it play out on repeat forever if he didn't have to meet Basil again.

All too soon, Hero heard a knock at the door from the top of the stairs, just finishing washing his hands. He heard Kel's excited steps as he hopped around the living room. Hero began slowly making his way down the stairs.

The door opened and Kel said something out of earshot. A soft, nervous voice talked back. The light from the open door just began to make contact with Hero's shoes at this point.

A third voice perked up as a shadow blocked the sun's rays for just a moment, throwing itself into Kel's arms. Hero had made it low enough to see what was undoubtedly Aubrey embracing his brother, and... kissing him. _Kel could do better._ He thought bitterly.

One more step, and Basil finally exposed himself from behind the hallway door. He looked at Hero, fear in his eyes, making a minor vocalization to get the attention of the two embracing next to him.  
Aubrey quickly let go of Kel and shot a glare at Hero. Why was she here? Why the look?

It was at that moment Hero realized the face he was making. A face warped by hatred. He blinked rapidly, unsqueezing his eyebrows and returning his lips to a neutral expression before painfully forcing a smile "Hi." He choked out.

Aubrey closed her eyes and softened her own expression, opening them as she let out a held breath. "Yo, Hero."

Basil finally stepped inside the house. "H... Hey, Hero..." He began panning his eyes around the living room, gasping slightly as his eyes reached the piano to his right.

Hero began walking to greet the guest, only for Aubrey to subtly move herself between them, branching her arm out to cup backwards around Basil. Hero stopped in his tracks as a thought chilled his spine. Was Aubrey trying to protect Basil? Did they know? After all he had done to pretend... Did he let the mask slip too much?

His mind was scrambled with fear, and with a new, desperate desire to keep it on he asked in the best impression of a good person he'd done in a while- "Everything okay?"

Aubrey stared into his very soul, her eyes like Medusa's, stopping Hero in place. She carefully judged his character for a few excruciating seconds. "Yeah. Just wanted to stop you if you were planning on walking out again." She said.

Hero's mind was brought back to the day at the hospital. That overflow of emotion that left him speechless, as he walked past Sunny as if he wasn't even there. "Right... I don't blame you." Hero replied with a more genuine looking smile than before.

Aubrey returned to her position and allowed Hero to continue his walk towards Basil. Pushing his emotions down with all his might, he threw the flower boy into a hug. Mostly so he'd stop having to look at his face.

"Basil! It's nice to see you. How have you been?" Hero asked. "Fine… how are, uh... how are you holding up?" Basil responded in a meek voice. "Oh, I've been alright. Sorry for not stopping by earlier, I've had my focus elsewhere."

He didn't need to say he'd spent almost every second of the past year thinking about the piano, about Mari. About Sunny. He was certain Kel told them enough.

The four of them stood there for a brief moment until it was interrupted by Kel. "Alright, I think you both came just in time. Dinner should be ready now." He grabbed Aubrey's hand and Basil's sleeve as he pulled them into the dining room. Hero, alone for a brief moment, took his happy expression off, just to breathe. He took a deep breath and smiled once more before turning the corner.

* * *

Hero sat down next to Basil, to Hero’s frustration. Aubrey and Kel were already sitting next to each other while exchanging glances, not giving him much of a choice. He tried to distract himself with the steak meal in front of him, and began eating.

After too long, they were all eating. Kel devoured his meal with little regard for how he looked, like always. Aubrey was almost exactly the same. Hero chuckled to himself, thinking that maybe they were more meant for each other than he had initially thought.

Aubrey was the first to attempt a conversation. "So, you any good at that piano?"

Kel took a break from his feast to shoot a look at the girl. She knew what she was doing, though, judging by the analyzing look in her eyes. Hero couldn't just snap at her like he does the members of his family.

"I'm getting better." A simple answer, and not a lie, at that. Basil was next to speak up.

"I wonder if Sunny would like listening to it or not..." He semi-whispered. Hero's knife made a grinding noise against the plate as he heard that name, catching everyone's attention.

"Why..." Hero asked in a low growl. "Sunny’s gone, isn’t he? Why worry about how he would feel?" 

Basil opened his mouth to speak only for Kel to cut him off. "They've been keeping in touch by letter. Apparently, Sunny's gonna be coming tomorrow."

The whole world went dark as Hero's head began spinning. Sunny? First Basil, now Sunny was coming back? His world shattered around him as he thought of what he’d do if he was brought face to face with Sunny. All he saw was that boy’s blank expression staring at him over Mari’s lifeless corpse-

He was brought back to the waking world by Basil pulling at his shirt sleeve. Hero snapped to look at him before standing up, stating "I need to use the bathroom."

He stormed out in a hurry the same way he came, holding his stomach tightly. _Nice excuse, dipshit._ Hero thought to himself. As he felt his guts rise upward, he realized it may not be a fake excuse after all. His steps quickened up the stairs.

He couldn't close the door all the way before he fell onto the toilet and began vomiting into it. Chunks of chewed steak stared back at him mockingly. He leaned in for round 2 as he heard footsteps getting closer to the door. They themselves heard what was happening and quickly turned back around.

After a total of 3 heaves, Hero ripped some toilet paper off it's roll and brushed his face off, spitting whatever bile remained in his mouth into the toilet before giving it a flush. He moved towards the mirror and stared at himself. "God, I look like shit." He said out loud, taking note of the sweat caking his face and ruining his hair. He then noticed the open door behind him, and quickly rushed to close it.

Returning to the mirror, he turned on the sink and washed up, questioning to himself whether it was the cheap steak his mom bought or even THINKING of Sunny.

He laughed softly before returning to the wash.

"No shit it was him, the fucking sister killer. Why would I even ask?"

Hero let that last question linger in his mind. Why... Why did he ask that to himself? 

He brushed away the thought before drying his hands, opening the door and seeing Aubrey staring back at him.

"Holy shit dude, you alright?" She asked him caringly.

"Y-Yeah, fine. Steak must've been bad." He replied.

"No kidding. At first, I thought you'd ran up here just to get away from... what you'd just heard."

"What made you think that?"

"Honestly... I thought you sorta resented Basil, after what happened. You haven't talked to him, since when, the day of the confession? It's been a year."

"Yeah, and I've been in college. And the time I do get to spend in Faraway, you know..." He gestured to the piano through the wall.

"Fair... Sorry for assuming that."

Hero let a wave of relief wash over him. He was still "good boy" Hero, for now.

"So, you alright? Gonna be able to come back down?" Aubrey asked.

Hero grabbed onto his stomach once more, this time certainly a fake. "Uh, na... I'm just gonna lie down, sorry. Tell Basil I said bye, and I'll see him some other time, I guess."

Aubrey nodded. "Alright. You take care of yourself, okay? It ain't normal to throw up after one steak like that."

"Sure thing." Hero considered for a moment how he had been eating and realized that was the first meal he'd had in... a while. At that moment, He turned around and returned to the comfort of his room.

* * *

The next thing Hero remembered is being gently shaken awake by Kel. Instinctively, he grabbed the alarm clock and took a long look at the time and date. Seems he slept through the night.

"Hero." Kel made sure his brother was there.

"Y-Yeah...?" Hero responded.

"Are you gonna be alright today?"

It took him a second to remember what it is he meant by that. Right. Sunny was coming today. He pushed Kel off of him and sat up, Kel sitting down on his own bed in front of him.

Hero placed his face in one hand as he remembered. Basil. Mari. Sunny. In a rare moment of clarity, fueled by groggy tiredness and malnutrition, Hero responded bluntly. "I don't know."

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to." Slowly, good boy Hero took back hold. "No, no... I'll see him. I was talking about the whole throwing up thing... I'll probably be fine after I wake up." Kel looked a mix of surprised and defeated. "Oh... Alright. I'm gonna go out. Try to, uh... eat something. Anything. Please."

Hero noticed the desperation in his brother's voice. God damnit, he was worrying him. "Sure, yeah, I will." He immediately stood up and began walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, hastily pouring himself a bowl of cereal. By the time Kel had caught up, he was pouring himself milk. "You can go, Kel. I'll be fine." Kel simply nodded, smiled, and left.

After he heard the car outside start, he looked back and forth at the cereal and the piano. "What the hell, I already poured it." He said, as he sat down and ate for the first time in two days, last night's steak meal withstanding.

* * *

Like always, it was far too soon. He tells himself that given any longer with the piano, he would've made some real progress, but he knew deep down he'd still be crawling at the same snail's pace he's been at since the beginning.

At least the timing was convenient this time around. Kel's car pulled up just as Hero had failed another attempt at the song.

He stood up and went to open the door for his brother, wondering to himself when Sunny would come around. "The gall..." he murmured to himself.

Opening the door, he saw Kel, tailed closely by Basil. Pulling something out of the car, still, was Sunny.

Already. He resisted every nerve in his body screaming at him to slam the door and lock it, quickly throwing his hands over his mouth and faking a cough to give him enough time to throw a smile together. Sunny finally poked his head out from the car, carrying 2 small suitcases. He began walking close enough for Hero's eyes to focus in on him. He still had his eyepatch. Serves him right. He stopped halfway between the car and the house to look at Hero, a confused look on his face. _Why was everyone staring at me?_ Hero thought. Had he let himself go that much? Hero kept focusing on Sunny, nothing else mattered to him in that moment.

"ro... Everything okay? Hero!?" Kel was waving his hands in front of Hero's eyes, snapping him back to reality once more. Hero pushed his hand back down with an "I'm fine." He kept his gaze locked onto Sunny as he stepped backwards and let a murderer into his home.

And then Sunny smiled.

Hero's mind started racing. _That. Little. FUCK... Wants to smile at me. How DARE he even consider being happy to see me- HAPPY AT ALL. He killed her. He killed MY-_ Against his will, he started laughing to himself as he imagined wrapping his hands around his throat and NEVER letting go.

He realized how close Sunny was getting. He couldn't force himself to hug him, he thought. He's not strong enough for that... Not yet. As Sunny finally peeked inside and entered Hero's domain, he gave him a quick half hug with 2 rough pats on the back. "Hey, Sunny." Hero squeaked out. "Nice to see you again."

"Likewise." Sunny replied. Not a man of many words, still. His voice was louder, though. Hero liked it better when he was mute.

Sunny looked around the room with a purpose in his eye, finally reaching its destination. Of course it was the piano. Hero was powerless to stop him from getting closer to it as he sat his two suitcases down next to him. Feelings aside, it was closer to Sunny's piano than it was Hero's.

He began touching the keys softly, admiring the sheet music still laid out over them. "You've taken good care of it. Thank you." Sunny told Hero. 

"Th-Thank you. For letting me have it." Hero stammered.

Sunny simply smiled. "Can you play it for me?"

"NO." Hero replied, louder than he meant to.

"... That's fine." Sunny said in return. His voice had somewhat of an understanding to it.

Hero's tunnel vision on Sunny let him forget that Kel and Basil were also in the room. Kel brushed Hero's shoulder with his hand and gestured to pull him aside, the brothers walking into the dining room. "Listen, Aubrey and I, uh... I'm sure it's obvious, by now, but we're dating. And she just invited me out to eat with her, and I've learned that when dating Aubrey, you do _not_ say no to her. Will you be okay alone... with them?"

Hero turned around and looked at the two boys. They seemed so damn happy to see each other, smiles painted on both of their faces. His rage mixed with jealousy as he looked at them both. _Are they over it? Over her? Over what they did?_ Hero didn't have time to really mull it over before Kel turned him around.

"Hero, bro, talk to me here." Kel said, a worried look on his face. "Y... Yeah, sure thing. You have fun with Aubrey, I'll be fine here." Hero replied. The most obvious bullshit he had ever spewn, and Kel fell for it hook, line, and sinker. The worry on his face completely disappeared and was replaced by a beaming happiness. 

Kel was supposed to be the inferior brother. They both loved each other, but the two silently shared the sentiment felt by most everyone they met. Sometimes it made Hero feel bad for him, but Kel never seemed to mind. Nobody felt bad for Hero. Nobody thought about the endless stress that comes with being older, being the favorite. They all just looked up at him and reinforced the noose that he was hanging by.

Hero would throw away everything he had earned to be more like Kel.

"Allllrighty!" Kel enthusiastically shouted, moving into the living room. "I'm gonna go on that date with Aubrey I mentioned. You two be nice for Hero!"

Basil laughed and nodded. "Good luck... _you'll need it._ " He said with an ominous tone before breaking back down into giggles.

"Right, right, sure thing. See y'all later." Kel said, shutting the door behind them and leaving the three in silence.

* * *

In that moment it felt like the space between the two at the piano and Hero had been multiplied by an incomprehensible number. They gazed at each other for ages before Hero silently turned to his left and walked into the hallway.

"Let me know if you need anything." He barked at them, not bothering to turn around. The both of them were utterly silent as Hero ascended the steps, only beginning to speak as Hero closed the door behind him.

Just pathetic small talk. Hero didn't care. After 5 minutes of holding his ear to the door, he turned to his bed and laid back down in it. He wished he could just fall back asleep, but the writhing emotions inside of him were dead set on not allowing him that solace.

And so, he tossed. And then he turned. And again, and again, over and over, becoming entangled in his bedsheets. Trapped in a prison of his own design. Time became an abstract concept to Hero as the hours passed. Hours? Had he been trapped in this room for hours? It must've been. It was getting dark out. Where was Kel? Still on his date? Perfect. Good for him. "Hope he crashes that shitbox car of his-"

Hero stopped that train of thought, trying his best to calm himself. Just a negative thought. He was in a bad mood, that's all. He'll get better, he just needs time. Thinking of Mari calmed him down, usually. He thought about how Mari would look when playing the piano. The sheet music was memorized, so she could just close her eyes and focus on the rhythm. He thought back to how it sounded, when she played. That perfect intro he knew all too well was unaffected in his memory still. After that, of course, it gets all distorted. The piano notes stop meaning anything and turn into a white noise, indistinguishable from the sound of an air conditioner or a microwave.

Then he heard the song begin to repeat itself, not in his head. It played out through his ears.

Hero shot out of his bed and looked around for an answer, realizing slowly that the sound was coming from his living room.

Sunny.

Since when did he know how to play? Good for nothing little bastard only piggybacked off Mari's talent with his dinky little violin.

Hero took caution as he silently opened his door and began descending, the piano notes becoming ever louder.

When he made it to the bottom, he saw Sunny gracefully dancing his fingers over the keys, Basil holding a hand over his shoulder. Sunny had made it past the perfect intro Hero knew and was playing the song. The _entire_ song.

Hero was powerless to do anything as he bore witness to the display of mastery before him. Nothing could stop Sunny as he properly embarrassed Hero on all accounts.

Hero, the loved, favorite, the one and only love to Mari was being one-upped by her shut in brother.

1 year of malnourishing himself for this.

1 year of sleepless nights for this.

1 year of torment for this.

Sunny reached the finale of the song, perfectly restoring the tainted memory Hero had locked away within himself, with a brand new distortion making himself known at the centerpiece of it all.  
This wasn't Mari's song anymore. It was Sunny's.

The final note rang out as Basil began clapping in excitement. Sunny turned his head just enough so that Hero could see the only eye remaining on his face. It was closed.

His eyes failed him as he flashed back to Mari’s beautiful face. For a few moments, he was able to see her again… until she left, and all that remained was the person who killed her.

* * *

"The FUCK was THAT?" Hero's voice boomed across the living room. Basil paused his applause to turn and face its source, Sunny doing the same.

Hero was immediately able to regain control, but the deed had been done. The illusion which had been his identity for as long as he could remember shattered around him as he let loose every negative emotion that welled up inside him all this time.

"You think you're like Mari because you can play that song? Huh? You're NOTHING like her. You fucking killed her... YOU KILLED HER!" Hero screamed at him, walking closer.

"Do you have any FUCKING IDEA how much I loved her? We... WE HAD AN ENTIRE FUTURE TOGETHER AND YOU RUINED IT! SHE WAS FUCKING PERFECT! I LOVED HER!" Hero turned his glare to Basil.

"And then YOU. You sick fuck, you wanted to protect Sunny, didn't you? BY RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE? You and Sunny escaped the blame, but for 4 YEARS I lived with the idea that the love of my life fucking hung herself and I didn't do anything to save her."

Basil just looked at him, his mouth agape, tears welling in his eyes. Hero was close to the both of them now, switching back to Sunny.

"You know... I always hated you. You did nothing but get in my way ever since you were a kid. You just got in the way of me and Mari. If it wasn't for you..."

Hero stepped back.

"If it wasn't for you..."

He began looking around for anything physical to take his fury out on.

"IF YOU WERE JUST NEVER BORN!"

He screamed as he threw a table lamp against the wall, shattering it along with a family portrait hung at the point of impact.

"Mari... Mari would still be here."

* * *

Only a few moments later, Hero began rushing back up to his room, unaware of the footsteps shadowing him. When he made it to the top of the stairs Sunny called out to him, stopping Hero in his tracks, Basil keeping his distance from the doorway into the living room.

"I loved her too..." Sunny said, grief filling his voice. Hero's face formed an expression of surprise and anger.

"Basil loved her. Everyone loved her, and I killed her... I know." Basil tried to object, but Sunny simply waved him off and began walking up the stairs.

"Out of everyone I was the most worried about you... how you would take the truth. I was obviously right about that."

"You don't fucking know that." Hero spat back.

"You sure? It seemed you were repressing all that you said there for a while. You wanna talk about repressing stuff to me?"

"I-" Hero tried to object, but Sunny was right.

"Hero... I know what you've been going through... And I know you've been going through it alone. You don't need to hide behind fake personalities to make us happy, it was a hard truth. Nobody expects you to just get over it, like you... pretended you did."

Hero began stepping backwards. "Shut up..." He whispered. "Leave me alone..."

"No." Sunny said defiantly. "You've been left alone for too long. You deserve better, Hero."

"Leave me... alone..."

"Come on. We can talk about things, together. We can _heal_ , together."

"Stop..."

"Didn't you tell me..."

"I said..."

"Friends are supposed to be there for eachother?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Hero yelled, pushing Sunny on the shoulder.

* * *

It was an innocent shove. Just a light push. Hero just wanted some space, was all. He was emotionally overwhelmed. Nobody could blame him for pushing Sunny.

Sunny's right foot immediately was brushed off the step it was on as his left began to falter. A wave of horror rushed over Hero's face as he realized what was happening. He tried reaching out to Sunny, but it was too late. He had begun to fall.

His head made a loud ***THUNK*** as it landed on the railing, being pushed back upwards. "SUNNY!" Basil screamed, running from his location at the bottom of the stairs in an attempt to catch the boy. Hero also began making movements down the stairs, just too slow to catch him.

Sunny was now tumbling down the stairs at full speed. Basil leaned down to catch him, being caught up in the roll but breaking the final fall with his body. Basil quickly maneuvered so that Sunny could lie down in his lap. "Sunny... No... Please... Don't go... Don't leave me..." He bit hard into his index finger and immediately drew blood.

Hero made it to the bottom and cupped his hand around Sunny's hair, his hand shaking. It was pulled back by instinct as he felt a wetness present at the spot his head hit the railing earlier. It was hard to make out in the dark, but the smell of blood was unmistakable. Hero's hand began shaking more violently.

He did it again. The same thing that happened with Kel years ago, had happened again. This was the worst possible outcome. The chances, microscopic. That it would happen to these people, in this exact way? Bordering on impossible.

In that moment, Hero understood everything as he grabbed Sunny from Basil's grasp, pulling his motionless body close. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, imsorryimsorryimsorry..." He repeated over and over. Basil began murmuring to himself as well, catching Hero's attention.

"Everything's gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay..." He was repeating, hyperventilating. He was having a panic attack, and Hero, despite his time training to be a doctor, was helpless. He simply pulled Sunny close again, holding him tighter.

The door opened and the lights from outside shed light on their dire situation.

"Sunny!" Kel screamed, running to the three.

"Sunny, oh God, what happened?"

Basil was helpless to answer, leaving Hero to explain himself. "I... I push..."

He was out of breath. He didn't even notice his own hyperventilating.

"You WHAT?" Kel responded, angrily. He got the idea.

"God damnit, Hero, that doesn't matter right now. Aren't you a doctor? You have to help him!"

Hero looked at Kel and tried to regain his thoughts. Yes, he was trying to be a doctor... He wanted to help people.

Sunny wasn't going to die tonight.

Hero was going to save Sunny.

"CALL 911! AND CALM BASIL DOWN!" He stated forcefully, leaping up the stairs to the bathroom. He tore the cabinet open and grabbed a roll of gauze, and some medical alcohol. He turned around and saw Kel, cell phone in one hand as the other tried desperately to give Basil some much needed attention. Hero practically jumped down the stairs to make it back to Sunny.

He poured the alcohol onto the wound first, before lathering more onto the gauze. He wrapped it around Sunny's head the same way he had been trained to, making sure it was as secure as could be before checking on Basil and Kel, taking note of the blood dropping from Basil’s finger onto his shorts. He took a break from taking care of Sunny, the bandages tight enough to stop the bleeding for now.  
Without warning, he stepped between Kel as he tried consoling Basil and grabbed onto his hand, pointing his finger forward with his thumb. Hero quickly whispered, “This is gonna hurt a little…” As he applied alcohol to the wound and began wrapping it. The pain brought Basil back to his senses, as he looked at Hero, on the verge of tears. Only a moment later, his gaze transferred back to Sunny’s motionless body and pure horror returned to his face. His hand bolted back to his mouth, Kel noticing and stopping him before he could self inflict any more damage. Kel gave Hero a nod, insisting that he had Basil under control, allowing Hero to return to Sunny. He noticed the lighter layer of bandages had been almost fully soaked through, and prepared to change them. As he finished his handiwork, his mind was finally given a moment to think, his thoughts whirling in his head and telling him what Sunny did. Sunny took Mari from him. Why should he care?

He gave himself some time to ponder it.

Was it because he pushed Sunny? It would make sense for him to feel some sort of responsibility for the situation.

No, it’s obviously because he was trying to be a doctor… A doctor’s first instinct should be to save people, right?

Tears welled up in Hero’s eyes as he realized why he was so panicked, brushing away those excuses. Sunny had been his friend as long as he could remember… He loved Sunny, didn’t he? He loved whenever Sunny would ask him about baking, he loved the way he understood Basil when he couldn’t, and…

Mari cared about Sunny. He had to do it for her, if anything.

There wasn't much he could do now other than wait for the ambulance to arrive.

* * *

Hero's foot bounced impatiently up and down. He glanced at the clock once more- 12:39. 1 hour and 14 minutes had passed.

He placed his face into his hands and began to despair, his mind racing. "He's gonna die. God, he's gonna die and it'll be my fault, I killed Sunny, I killed him." Kel placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, noticing his distress.

"He'll be alright, Hero."

Kel had to be the strong one for Hero. He felt so weak and powerless, being taken care of by someone else. He hated it... but he still felt an intense love for Kel at that moment.

Basil sat on the opposite side of Kel, keeping silent and staring forward with a stoic expression. Hero from 2 hours ago would've assumed he didn't care, but the Hero right now saw all the little things. The beads of sweat slowly dripping down his face. The subtle shaking of his hands. Basil was in just as much pain as Hero, if not more, considering what he had been through 5 years ago.

"Basil, I..." Hero spoke without thinking of what he wanted to say, knowing he had to say _something_. Basil turned to Hero, startled.

"Basil... I'm so sorry..." He grabbed at the smaller boy's hands over Kel's lap, holding them in his own. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." Hero began crying into the smaller boy’s fist, focusing intently on the bandage he had placed earlier.

Basil joined him, allowing his own tears to fall, pulling Hero into a hug. Kel responded by bringing the two even closer over top of him, encasing them all in a group hug.

At that moment, the door to the operating room swung open, and an older man dressed in white stepped forward, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "Sunny is alright. He needed some minor stitches, but thanks to the first aid that was administered beforehand, he'll be able to go back with you all tonight." The doctor stepped to the side, allowing Sunny to walk into the room.

"Su..." Hero tried to speak, but was interrupted by the sudden movements of Basil throwing himself at the boy and embracing him in a hug.

Kel followed suit and met the two away from Hero. He felt, again, that monumental gap between him and the friends that loved each other, now for a completely different reason. That gap was soon bridged by Sunny, breaking out from the two and inviting Hero close with open arms.

Hero took his offer without argument and embraced the three. For a brief moment, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

* * *

The lights flashed obnoxiously at Hero through the passenger window of Kel's car. He greatly preferred driving through the forests that surrounded Faraway, but the closest hospital was near a highway exit, where all the city's lights shined brightly. He glanced at the electric clock on the dashboard. 1:09. It made sense that Sunny and Basil were asleep behind him. They were all in for a rude awakening, he thought, not disincluding himself from the party. Few words were exchanged at the hospital, and they had a lot to talk about.

Kel broke the silence. "What happened while I was gone?"

Hero let out a heavy exhale as he began recounting the events of the past few hours, preparing a story to give to Kel. He could pass over some details, but he needed to clarify how he really felt about Sunny and Basil for so long.

"I never forgave Sunny. Or Basil. I always hated them ever since we found out what really happened, but I lied about it. I didn't want to fracture our group any more than it already would be, so... I lied. And I just couldn't do it anymore. When I heard him play..."

Hero thought back to the emotions he felt at that moment.

"He played the song on piano so effortlessly. I was jealous, I was mad, I felt like I'd wasted the past year trying to learn it. I screamed something at him, and after that, it just... started flowing out."

Kel placed one hand off the steering wheel and began patting Hero's shoulder. "It's alright, Hero-"

Hero brushed his hand off. "No... No, it isn't alright. I'm such a shitty friend, such a shitty brother, it’s NEVER gonna be alright again because I fucked up."

"Hero, Hero, come here..." Kel said, pulling Hero into a side hug. "Remember when you flipped out on me a while back?"

"Yeah. That wasn't supposed to happen again, but-"

"Ah-ah. After that, what happened?"

"... What?"

"What happened after you yelled at me that night?"

"... Mom and Dad comforted me and left you to cry."

"No, I'm not talking about that. Hero, you got better. After you finally let all of that out, you got a chance to improve." Kel turned to look at Sunny, who was peacefully sleeping on Basil's shoulder.

"Sunny's the understanding type." Kel continued. "Things'll get better, now."

Hero could do nothing but hope those words would come true as Kel returned to focusing on driving.

The straight and narrow roads gave way to the soft, familiar ones of Faraway as Kel pulled up at the front of the home.

"Come on, you carry one, I got the other." Kel told Hero, turning off the car. The two both got out, and Kel took Basil, the person sitting behind the driver's seat. That left Hero to carry Sunny.

Hero carefully wrapped his hand around Sunny's bandaged head, caressing him gently before finally picking him up and closing the door.

The two brothers laid the boys down and walked into the hallway, reminded of the bloody accident that never got properly cleaned up after.

"Right... You take the stuff back up to the medicine cabinet. I'll take care of the stains." Kel said, making his way into the kitchen.

Hero obliged and picked up the two items he applied to Sunny hours ago, and began walking up the stairs. A chill ran down his spine as he noticed the small trace of blood sparkle in the moonlight on the left railing.

He made it to the bathroom and noticed himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. Tired, hair ruffled, out of shape. Yet, he felt that something within him had changed for the better.

Breaking the staring contest with himself, he crouched down and carefully placed the supplies back to where they had been taken from. By the time he had turned around and walked back out to the stairwell, Kel had taken care of the blood. "Come on, let's get some sleep. You look like you need it." Kel stated. Hero couldn't help but chuckle in agreement.

They walked into their rooms and laid down in their respective beds, the both of them falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

The summer birds chirped peacefully as Hero rose from his slumber. His brain still on power-saving mode, it took him time until he remembered who he was and what he had done. The realization snapped him to a full state of awareness as he looked around the room and saw Kel was still asleep. A good sign. Hero stood up and carefully walked down the stairs, making sure to be quiet. When he made it to the bottom, he saw Basil, but no Sunny. He heard the clanging of silverware in the kitchen, and made his way to investigate.

As he entered the kitchen, he saw Sunny standing above a bowl of freshly prepared oatmeal. Sunny took notice to Hero's arrival and greeted him. "Oh, good morning Hero. I always wake up early, so I was just making myself breakfast. Hope you don't mind..."

"S-Sunny..." Hero called out, his voice weak.

"Would you like me to make you some? I can wait to eat."

"Sunny, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." Hero began to cry.

Sunny embraced Hero as best as his small stature would allow. "It's okay. I forgive you."

Hero shattered at Sunny's kindness as he reciprocated the hug and cried tears into Sunny's hair and bandage.

"You know... If Mari were still here... Would she forgive me like I'm forgiving you right now?" Sunny asked.

Hero's breathing stopped upon hearing that question. How he felt about Sunny and Basil had drastically changed over the last day, but hearing the desperation in Sunny's voice as he begged for forgiveness helped him realize how foolish he had been to blame them for what had happened.

Time began to resume for Hero as he spat out a comforting answer. "Y-Yes, she would, I'm sure... She'd forgive you, Sunny, please... please believe that... I'm so sorry, Sunny..."

The two held their positions for a while until Hero could finally calm down. He broke away from Sunny's hug and tried taking more control of the situation. "Sorry... for everything I said. And did. I was stupid to feel that way about you, for so long... Hell, after everything you went through, I should be the one comforting you..."

"Na." Sunny responded bluntly. "You comforted me a lot growing up, it’s about time I returned the favor."

"Th-Thank you." Hero replied.

"Let me take care of you a bit more... I'll make you some breakfast." Sunny said, immediately getting to work on a second bowl of oatmeal. The stove was still hot, and the 1 minute oats quickly gave way to the boiling water. Sunny rewarmed his own meal with a quick stint in the microwave, insisting it didn't bother him. 

When both of their bowls were ready, they sat in the dining room and continued their conversation.

Hero started. "Are things ever gonna go back to normal?"

"No." Sunny said in his matter-of-fact tone. "No, that ship sailed when Mari died. You can't go back to a normal that doesn't exist anymore... but you can make a new normal. You just need time to recuperate."

"I guess that's one way of looking at it..."

"You wanna know who told me that?"

"Who?"

"A therapist. Ever heard of one?" Sunny asked, smiling.

A joke. Hero hadn't remembered the last time Sunny told a joke. It wasn't very funny, but Hero couldn't help but laugh. "Hehe... Yeah, I probably should've seen one."

"Yep. I'm sure it's rich coming from me."

"It sorta is..."

They both shared another moment of laughter.

"You know, Sunny... Seriously, where _did_ you learn how to play the piano?"

"I didn't."

"... I'm sorry?"

"I never learned, I just know how to play that one song."

Hero looked at him, clearly confused. Sunny noticed and continued. "Right, uh... I never really talked about what happened over the 4 years I was inside."

"If you don't mind talking about it." Hero said reassuringly, leaning forward in his seat.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Basically, I was trapped in my own head. Whenever I went to sleep, I'd have a recurring lucid dream that was somewhat built around my memories. You were there, Hero."

Hero pointed at himself as if there was another Hero in the room. "S-Seriously? Me?" Hero replied.

"Well, the idealized version of you that I remembered when I was 12. You were universally loved, and even got a discount at some of the shops." Hero chuckled at that, as Sunny fell silent.

"... Mari was there too. You two were flirting, even in my dreams." He said, a saddened look on his face. Hero jumped from his chair across the table and moved to comfort him, now sitting next to Sunny.

"Th... Thank you. Mari was there, yeah, and her piano was there as well. She wasn't playing it most of the time, it was sorta playing in the background, I guess. I heard it a lot... The whole thing is drilled into my head."

"I... I see... I'm sorry you had to go through all of that for so long. I should've-"

"I wouldn't have let you. The only reason I opened the door for Kel that day is because we were moving so soon, you couldn't have done anything beforehand."

"... If you say so." Hero said, pulling Sunny into yet another hug.

Sunny broke away with an enthusiastic shine in his eye. "I have been keeping up with my violin though, wanna see?"

Hero nodded as Sunny stood up and led him back into the living room, tiptoeing when close to the sleeping Basil. He picked up one of his suitcases, which upon further inspection from Hero, wasn't actually a suitcase at all. It was a violin case.

Sunny sat the case on the ground and opened it, revealing the beautiful instrument inside of it.

"It's amazing." Hero said.

"It's pretty good... Gets the job done."

Sunny placed the violin on his shoulder and raised the bow so he could begin his play. He did a simple, quiet rendition of Clair de Lune, as an example piece. Closing his eyes, focusing purely on the sound of his music. He really did look like Mari, in some ways.

He drew the bow down to his side and dramatically bowed at Hero, as he quietly clapped with a warm smile on his face. "That was great, Sunny." Hero told him.

"Thank you..." Sunny responded, his mouth staying open as if he wanted to continue. 

"Everything okay?" Hero asked, encouraging him to speak.

"Yeah, uh... I just, I don't know if we'll be able to, but I was thinking... Would you like to play the duet together?"

Hero stepped backwards. Play the duet? He couldn't do that, he could barely play for 30 damn seconds before...

Before his old self would've broken down. Maybe now, maybe with Sunny...

"I'd love to give it a shot."

* * *

Despite Hero's confidence in doing better because of Sunny, they both waited until Kel and Basil left the house so they could practice alone, under the excuse of "No sneak peeks until the performance!"

Sunny raised his bow in anticipation. It was up to Hero to play the intro. It came back to him the same perfect way it always had, thankfully. With perfect timing, Sunny came in and began playing his own part. Hero was able to bounce off Sunny's play gracefully, the both of them keeping each other in check, until...

Hero missed a key. Sunny's music stopped in response to this. "That's okay, let's take it from the top." Sunny told him. Hero had been scared to play with someone else in the room, but after hearing Sunny's support, he wished he had done it with Kel sooner.

The two of them continued to practice together. Usually, it was Hero messing up, but every now and then Sunny would mistakenly push too hard or too soft and end up breaking his own train of thought. Sometimes, Sunny would demand a restart without Hero even noticing a fault in his play.

Eventually, the two of them were able to get one play completed. Ecstasy washed over Hero... He had finally done what he had set out to do one year ago, and so much more. Sunny looked at him with his own smile.

"It's nice being able to get one play down, but we need to do it consistently before we play in front of everyone. From the top!" Sunny said with a never seen before bravado.

So, they played. Sunny reliving the peaceful moments he shared with his loving sister, Hero playing in remembrance of his lover. Both of them playing to become closer to one another.

After 10 successful plays in a row, Hero piped up. "I think we're ready to play in front of everyone."

"I think so too..." Replied Sunny, pulling out his phone to call Basil.

The flower boy was the first to arrive, helping the two move the couch around so it was facing the corner where the piano sat. 

The others were taking their time, it seemed… Hero decided to make cookies for everyone. Sunny and Basil sat in the room with him, helping whenever they could. A soft happiness painted all of their faces as they simply enjoyed their own company.

Hero had just put the cookies in as they realized that Kel and Aubrey were gonna be quite late.

“Let’s get one more play in before they show up.” Sunny suggested.

Hero fidgeted in place momentarily. “Yeah, uh… Basil, do you think you could-”

Sunny quickly interrupted him. “You’ll be fine.”

“I promise I’ll be a good listener! Besides, didn’t you always listen in whenever Sunny played? You might as well get used to playing in front of _someone_.” Basil perked up.

Hero forced down a nervous gulp as he agreed. “Alright…”

They returned to the living room and everyone took their places. Hero began the song, his fingers trembling ever so slightly. The music was thankfully unaffected by Hero’s anxiety as he played his part of the song, Sunny coming in at the appropriate time. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, though. It was ever present, eating away at his focus until he noticed that he was rushing, ever so slightly. He quickly readjusted, slowing back down to Sunny’s pace and glancing at him…

Sunny looked back with an affirming smile. So he noticed… Hero couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t stopped.

A few minutes later, and the song was over. Basil clapped in excitement behind them, and the two turned to face their critic.

“Oh my gosh, that was amazing! It sounded perfect!” He yelled.

“Anything but…” Hero stated, disapprovingly eyeing the ground.

“What do you mean? It sounded great to me!” Basil responded. “I, uh… I really like your violin too, Sunny…” He continued, blushing slightly.

Sunny’s own face went slightly red upon hearing Basil’s praise. “Th… Thank you, Basil.” He regained his composure and sat down on the couch.

“Hero, come ‘ere.” Sunny said, patting the empty seat next to him. Hero took his eyes off the floor and obliged.

Sunny kept speaking. “You and I have been at it for a while, doing music. What I’ve learned…” He placed an arm around Basil’s shoulder. “What Basil’s helped me learn… is that nobody really cares how well you do.”

Hero couldn’t help but snort out a sudden laugh. He’d have to get used to Sunny’s deadpan, to-the-point delivery of things all over again. Basil joined in his own chuckle, as well.

“He has a point. We don’t mind if you miss a note, or if you go too fast or too slow or whatever those terms are. We just wanna hear you and Sunny play! Who cares if you mess up a little?” Basil added. 

Hero’s brow furrowed as he once again was forced to look at the past year he had spent in semi-isolation and regret every single second of it. He let his friend’s comments stew for a moment longer before replying. “Thank you. I don’t think you know how much it means to me to hear that.” He said with a smile.

Sunny threw his arms around him. “I’ve got an idea.”

* * *

Finally Kel arrived, covered in sweat. He decided to take a shower while preparations were made.

Aubrey showed up as Hero was pulling the cookies from the oven, ready to be enjoyed by everyone. 

Finally, the three guests sat across from the performers, each holding their own plate of freshly baked cookies. Hero and Sunny, while not playing at a recital, had each played around with their looks in preparation.

Without further ado, the two began playing.

Hero focused on the sounds of the piano, the beautiful violin, and the sheet music in front of him. It was just like they had practiced. He was facing backwards from them, so he could've just ignored their presence entirely, but he couldn't help himself but think about his friends. He really did love them. His play wasn’t perfect, perhaps his wandering thoughts led him to make a few mistakes, but that was fine. It was good enough.

And just like that, their show was complete. Sunny did his same dramatic bow, as Hero did a more subtle nod of the head towards the applauding audience. Kel stood up and threw the 5 of them into a group hug.

Hero really loved his friends, and they really loved him. Despite everything he had done to them... Hero felt loved. He felt forgiven.

He would not rest until the day where Sunny and Basil felt that same sensation. He would forgive them, over and over, until they one day managed to forgive themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> and that's that  
> this fic was brought to you by Pitmore for helping tremendously during the editing process. he's a fantastic person and a fantastic writer, some of the best stuff on here, i am _begging_ you to check out his work. heres the fic he's currently working on, making the sun shine brighter (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28967697/chapters/71085567)  
> also helping me out was AZ, who helped my title Not Suck and i just want an excuse to shill their sunflower fic, watering our future. they're great at writing AND drawing, and you can see that right here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566011/chapters/72663603)  
> and with all that said i hope you enjoyed :)


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